White Apple Passion

White Apple Passion
for Health & Passion in Life

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Mom and Me

    * My Journal * When my parents were growing up both of them lost their fathers at a very young and tender age.  Mom lost her mother when she was only about 19 or 20 years old.  Her mother was bedridden, not knowing who she was for years before she passed.  As a “self absorbed” daughter I never thought much of it.  I had my mom and dad…Parents don’t need their parents…right?  Ha!…What do I know!!!???  Not until Dad was over 80 years old, during one of our dear conversations, my father expressed sadness to me over not having his father around as a small child and beyond.
    When I heard this I felt bad. I felt really bad that it didn’t “cross my mind” or concern me that my own father did not have a father “figure” for most or pretty much all of his life.  I can’t imagine that for myself.
So, I guess I should obviously feel blessed for the time I have had with my own mother and father. And I do.  But  I am also selfish…still want them around…still want to be able to tell them what’s going on in my life, and what’s not going on in my life...I want them STILL to  help me parent my own kids nearly grown now.....no matter how old I am or how old I get.
    OK.....but....Mom is STILL physically here.  I want to tell her stuff.  I want to go on errands with her.  I want to bake Dad’s favorite pumpkin pie with her.  And I want Dad here to enjoy the finished homeade product.  It can only be a memory…indeed...a good memory that no one can take away from me.

    The photo I show is a recent picture of Mom and me.  Mostly I just stare at her. I talk to her as well. I tell her I love her. Sometimes she seems to notice but not so much anymore. She still “jibber jabbers” when she has the energy.  On this day as I held her hand, she “suckled” my finger.  I believe she was kissing me.  I will cherish that moment.  It’s all I have with her.  It needs to be OK.  So, I guess… I think….that ought to be put on the list as a blessed good thing.  And it truly is.
    Mom turns 85 on Monday.  Happy Birthday my dear mother.  Love you.


  1. Sigh. Just at the road leading up to this journey too. Your open heart and candid thoughts are wonderful. Thank you.