Roller Coaster Ride!

My Journal * On Tuesday, I felt like I was really starting to relax about this whole new idea of being a cancer patient.  I had two days of really good workouts at the gym and feeling good.  Just before leaving for a business appointment in the afternoon, I got a call from the scheduler at my surgeon's office.  The phone call felt like I was hearing two many words at once and it wasn't "computing" into my brain correctly. Then, I heard "right breast" (my healthy breast) mentioned at the "5:00 location" rolling into hearing the words" ultrasound" and "more biopsies".  Are you kidding?  The scheduler was to call me back to let me know when to come in for these tests.  That was upsetting.  After my business appointment was concluded, I called back to find out about these new tests and when.  As the scheduler spoke to me, I find out not only is there a "nodule" in my right breast, but there is a place under my left arm in a lymph node of concern.  I didn't catch all this in the first phone call....I seemed to be hearing all the words jumbled into a foreign mess without explanation. My stomach flew up into my throat.
Roger and I spent the evening nearly sick to our insides that this early detection cancer was maybe something much bigger.  We ate no dinner.  I cried and cried some more.
I had to be at the Breast Center early Wednesday morning...7:30 AM to check in. Ultrasound started at 8:00.  Roger kept telling me it was "going to be a good day".  Inside myself, I did not believe him.
There was a woman working in the office of the Breast Center named "Stella", (my grandmother's name). My first impression of her was she was an attractive, fit, and healthy woman who I was assuming never had to deal with cancer herself. Minutes later she was in the waiting room with us and I think she saw that I looked somewhat in distress and started conversation.  Her words were so supportive and soothing.  Stella herself had breast cancer six years ago and could feel my agony.  She had a double mastecomy. She looked so great. She has no idea how important she became in my life at that moment.  I was a stranger to her and she reached out to me.....when I really needed it. I will never forget our conversation about going through and experiencing breast cancer.
I was taken back to prepare for my ultrasound.  Another type of gown today.....open to the front...ties in the back.  As I lie there with ultrasound being performed, I finally start "versing" with "Heather", the technician.  I told her of my terrible anxiety over the news of my MRI. .  She began to tell me it is very common for a patient to come in for more tests because of MRI results.  The MRI shows "everything". She then asked me if I have ever been told I had fibro-cystic breasts.  I said no....she was surprised.  She also explained that the lymph node was probably flared up due to my inital biopsy. The tension in my body began to unwind a bit.  "Why couldn't this have been initially discussed with me when called about my MRI results", I wondered.  Sure enough, the ultrasound checked out fine....no biopsies to perform today.  "This" scare was over.  As we left the breast center, I waved to Stella.  She came up to the window, pointed to her chin, and told me "chin up".
Roger was right.  It was a good day.
 I'm done with THAT roller coaster ride.