White Apple Passion

White Apple Passion
for Health & Passion in Life

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Radiation....My Dad....Menorah Hospital

My first appointment for my cancer at Menorah Hospital was with my Surgeon, Dr. Balanoff on June 15th.  That was the first time I had stepped back into this hospital since Wednesday, November 7th, 2007....the day my father passed away in a room on the second floor.  I have spent many days and many hours at this hospital the last years of my father's life.  My father was a quiet man, but as he got older he and I shared many conversations and grew very close.  He had many struggles with his health including; heart, diabetes, cancer, and kidney failure, all while trying to care for my mother suffering from Alzheimer's.  He would not let go of trying to care for her 'til the day he died.  Those were some very rough years.  Dad could not handle Mom.  Life seemed to be a bit out of control.  I spent a lot of time with these wonderful people, my dear parents.  I went with Dad to his radiation treatments.  I would drive him to dialysis when he was too weak to drive.  And there were many many more appointments that we journeyed to try and keep Dad healthy. My heart ached for both of their sufferings.  Only a few years later, I am back at Menorah, not for Dad, but for my own cancer that has struck me.  I am making trips to the Radiology/Oncology Department which is directly below the room my dad lost his life in.  I lie here alone on my back quietly taking in this eerie treatment...radiation...and thinking about Dad.  I am facing to the north and staring towards the ceiling which seems to be in the exact direction of my father's room.   I sometimes wish my mind would not think as much as it thinks.  It gets me in trouble and then I cry.  All I can say is I not only miss my mom, ( still with us "in body"), but I dearly miss my father.  He is my hero.  But I do know he is resting in peace...a true blessing, which it too, is a good thing.

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